Set yourself up to succeed!

I can’t be passionate enough about the topic of purity. It’s not about saying “no” to sex, but rather it’s about saying “what is the best way to experience sex?” Without a doubt, sex is intended for marriage because it is the only relationship on earth that can handle the intensity of emotions created through sex. Outside of a marital commitment, sex will destroy your relationship. Very few people ever end up marrying the first person they have sex with.

So set yourself up to succeed in your sexual purity before marriage. Date the kind of person who shares your values around sex. Someone who is equally committed to keeping sex out of the relationship until marriage. If you don’t, you will fail. Especially guys who are laden with the hormone Testosterone. If you don’t date a young lady who is committed to leaving sex out of your dating relationship, I’m telling you, you won’t survive a month!

Keep the boundaries in terms of how far you go physically. I always recommend nothing passed simple kisses (this is not “making out”). I mean the kind of kisses you’d give at a door after a fun dinner or at the airport in public before you went through security. Long, passionate kissing will only lead you to other more in depth physical activity. Once you go down the road, it’s very difficult to stop.

For those who’ve already had sex, remember, it’s never too late to stop. It will take serious dedication, but you can do it! It’s worth stopping. Sleeping with more people just because you’ve already had sex once, doesn’t change the consequences of promiscuity. You don’t want the memories of multiple partners haunting your wedding night. Keep strong and pray for God’s desire in your dating life.

Michael

For more help in keeping your relationships healthy, please refer to the Don’t Date Naked book and the DDN workbook (an excellent study guide and accountability group resource)

Breaking up is hard to do

I arrived slightly late to our junior and senior high youth night this evening, but it wasn’t too late for one of my favorite highschool girls on the planet. She has been very close to our family and has travelled with us on speaking trips to help take care of our three kids.

Any way, when she saw me pulling up to the YMCA, where our Sunday Night Live events are held, she came quickly outside to greet me before I could make it into the building.

Her eyes were already pretty watery and I could tell something was wrong. So like a lot of well intentioned men, I asked, “Is something wrong?”

She then preceded to tell me that she had just broken up with her boyfriend of over six months (a record for her). I asked what went wrong and she responded, “We just weren’t on the same spiritual level.”

Of course, I tried to contain my enthusiasm, not because I didn’t like the boy, but because she was already learning at 17 how to be a mature person and how to honor God and herself in her dating relationships.

The root of her breaking up was literally that she didn’t feel he desired a close relationship with God. I asked her what event got her to realize this point, and she said with a smile, “Your book!” I was actually very suprised, because Amy and I are still not used to having a book out and it atually impacting lives, but here was the proof standing right infront of me

It was the chapter on character qualities that helped nudge her in the right direction in her relationship. And I hope her courage to make the tough decision encourages you to think about your current boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s never too late to make a good decision.