Do you need a relationship fast too?

I honestly can’t pinpoint why my last attempted relationship ended, but I am old enough to realize that if he isn’t the one, he isn’t the one. Read more

Red Letters: the greatest words ever spoken about forgiveness (week 5)

What did Jesus teach us about forgiveness? Everybody has somebody they need to forgive, the question is what does Jesus tell us to do about it.

Cohabitation just doesn’t work

In a recent interview, Michael McManus shares why cohabitation hurts a future marriage:

Taking the life of cohabitation for a test drive before committing to a marriage has become enormously popular. And yet, with the failure of so many cohabiting relationships, and the swollen divorce rates of couples who cohabit before marriage, such a widespread cultural practice deserves critical examination. Michael McManus, coauthor of Living Together: Myths, Risks & Answers, and President of Marriage Savers, a nonprofit organization, discuss the deleterious effects of cohabitation in an interview with National Review Online editor Kathryn Lopez.

 

Kathryn Jean Lopez: What’s so bad about living together?

 

Michael McManus: Couples who live together are gambling and losing in 85 percent of the cases. Many believe the myth that they are in a “trial marriage.” Actually it is more like a “trial divorce,” in which more than eight out of ten couples will break up either before the wedding or afterwards in divorce. First, about 45 percent of those who begin cohabiting, do not marry. Those who undergo “premarital divorce” often discover it is as painful as the real thing. Another 5-10 percent continue living together and do not marry. These two trends are the major reason the marriage rate has plunged 50 percent since 1970. Couples who cohabit are likely to find that it is a paultry substitute for the real thing, marriage.

Read the full article here.

‘Marriage Savers’ Declares War on Divorce

Check out this article from the Christian Post:

A Maryland-based marriage and counseling agency has reached headlines recently with what it calls its “New Strategy” in the war against divorce – an institution, it says, that is destroying the lives of millions.

“There are 30 million adult children of divorce who were shattered by their parents divorce, and another 24 million who suffered a divorce they did not want,” said the group, which calls itself Marriage Savers, in a statement.

According to the group, rising divorce rates could be drastically reduced by up to 50 percent across the nation, if the proper reforms were introduced and the current system of No Fault Divorce eliminated.

Under the current system of No Fault Divorce, a partner may at any time divorce their spouse, simply by citing “irreconcilable differences.”

“Most view divorce as a personal issue, but in a larger sense No Fault Divorce, a law first signed in California in 1969 by then Gov. Ronald Reagan, has been the biggest killer of marriage in America. It swept the nation in the 1970s, pushing divorces up from 708,000 in 1970 to 1,036,000 five years later,” the group said.

“The major reason why America has the world’s highest divorce rate is that one spouse can unilaterally divorce another. Research reports that in four out of five cases, one spouse did not want the divorce, but had no choice. No-Fault Divorce should be called Unilateral Divorce,” the group added.

Eliminating the system of No Fault Divorce, which is opposed by 80 percent of all spouses, the group argues, could reduce divorce rates by as much as 30 percent.

“In cases involving children, and where no allegation is made of abuse, adultery, etc. – states could require that any divorce be agreed to by both husband and wife. What was entered into by two people willingly would not be terminated unless both agree,” the group said.

An additional 20 percent reduction in divorce rates could be achieved if Joint Custody or Shared Parenting became the norm and replaced Sole Custody practices.

Click here to read the whole article.

Marriage Breakdown Costs Taxpayers at Least $112 Billion a Year

First-Time Research Reveals Staggering Annual Taxpayer Costs for Divorce and Unwed Childbearing

WASH. D.C.  In first-ever research, a new report quantifies a minimum $112 billion annual taxpayer cost from high rates of divorce and unmarried childbearing. It identifies national, state and local costs which account for more than $1 trillion in the last decade.  This landmark scholarly study, entitled “The Taxpayer Costs of Divorce and Unwed Childbearing: First-Ever Estimates for the Nation and All 50 States,” was released on April 15th at the National Press Club by four renowned policy and research groups—Institute for American Values, Georgia Family Council, Institute for Marriage and Public Policy, and Families Northwest.

“This study documents for the first time, that divorce and unwed childbearing—besides being bad for children—are also costing taxpayers a ton of money,” said David Blankenhorn, president of the Institute for American Values.  “Even a small improvement in the health of marriage in America would result in enormous savings to taxpayers,” he continued. “For example, a 1 percent reduction in rates of family fragmentation would save taxpayers $1.1 billion.”

“These costs are due to increased taxpayer expenditures for anti-poverty, criminal justice and education programs, and through lower levels of taxes paid by individuals whose adult productivity has been negatively affected by increased childhood poverty caused by family fragmentation,” said principal investigator Ben Scafidi, Ph.D., economics professor at Georgia College & State University.

“Prior research shows that marriage lifts single mothers out of poverty and therefore reduces the need for costly social benefits,” said Scafidi. “This new report shows that public concern about the decline of marriage need not be based only on ‘moral’ concerns, but that reducing high taxpayer costs of family fragmentation is a legitimate concern of government, policymakers and legislators, as well as community reformers and faith communities.”

“This report now provides the basis for a national consensus that strengthening marriage is a legitimate policy concern,” said Blankenhorn. “The report’s numbers represent an extremely cautious estimate, a lower-bound figure, and have been vetted by a group of distinguished scholars and economists who have attached their names as advisors to this report.”

“These numbers represent real people and real suffering,” said Randy Hicks, president of Georgia Family Council. “Both economic and human costs make family fragmentation a legitimate public concern. Historically, Americans have resisted the impulse to surrender to negative and hurtful trends. We fight problems like racism, poverty and domestic violence because we understand that the stakes are high. And while we’ll never eliminate divorce and unwed childbearing entirely, we can certainly be doing more to help marriages and families succeed.”

The full report, press kit, and video of the press conference at the National Press Club are available at www.americanvalues.org.

What does divorce and unwed childbearing cost?

$112 billion dollars annually! That is over a trillion dollars a decade!  To understand this number, currently one of the biggest debates on Capital Hill is the amount of money the Iraq war has cost American taxpayers over the last five years, which is just over $500 billion.  Divorce and unwed childbearing has cost roughly $80 billion more in the same amount of time!

What is so important about this new report?

This report is the first-ever rigorous, scholarly study to determine the government (or taxpayer) cost of family fragmentation at all levels of government. We define ‘family fragmentation’ as divorce and unwed childbearing.

Press Conference: Taxpayer costs of divorce and unwed childbearing

For the first time ever researchers have now proven the cost of divorce in America.

Dr. Ben Scafidi, an economist, led the research. Stay tuned for more.

First Time Research Reveals Staggering Annual Taxpayer Costs for Divorce and Unwed Childbearing

MEDIA ADVISORY

WHAT:    New, groundbreaking report: “The Taxpayer Costs of Divorce and Unwed Childbearing: First-Ever Estimates for the Nation and All 50 States.”  The report quantifies for the first time the astounding cost to government for family fragmentation; and is published by a coalition of research and policy groups—Institute for American Values, Georgia Family Council, Institute for Marriage and Public Policy, and Families Northwest.

WHO:      Panelist include:

• David Blankenhorn, president, Institute for American Values,
• Randy Hicks, president, Georgia Family Council,
• Maggie Gallagher, president, Institute for Marriage and Public Policy,
• Jeff Kemp, president, Families Northwest
• Ben Scafidi, Ph.D., economics professor at Georgia College and State University, and principal investigator of the report.

DATE:     Tuesday, April 15th, 2008

WHEN:    9 a.m. to 10:15 a.m. (Coffee and registration at 8:30)

WHERE:     The National Press Club in the Holeman Lounge
529 14th Street, N.W., Washington, D.C.

Red Letters: What Jesus said to the church (Week 4)

Pastor Mike Hurt continues our learning in Red Letters: the greatest words ever spoken about your life, your relationships, and your future with this message on what Christ said to the church.

Red Letters: Counter culture Christ - what Jesus said about love (week 3)

This week you will learn what Jesus said about love, and other than his claim to be God, this is probably his most radical statement!

Red Letters: Personal Jesus - what can Jesus do for you today? (Week 2)

Learn this week what Jesus promised he’d do for you!