‘As goes California, so goes the nation’ - San Jose Mercury News

‘As goes California, so goes the nation’ - San Jose Mercury News.

World’s heaviest man Manuel Uribe gets married

World&squo;s heaviest man Manuel Uribe gets married | Herald Sun

Couple married for 73 years buried side by side

Couple married for 73 years buried side by side — chicagotribune.com.

California can lead the way by rejecting Prop 8 - San Jose Mercury News

California can lead the way by rejecting Prop 8 - San Jose Mercury News.

Greeting cards announcing divorce?

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Now we have to plan ‘couples play dates?’

“If a stranger approached you on the street, demanded your phone number and asked to be your friend, would you do it? Of course not, because that’s insane and it violates the basic tenets of human interaction.”

http://www.momlogic.com/2008/10/daddy_dozen_13.php

The Sambilis on essence of a successful marriage

“Edward and Hellen Sambili are not just husband and wife, they are best friends whose big job titles are not as important as their love for one another, writes KWAMBOKA OYARO”

“Holding hands and looking into each other’s eyes, Prof and Dr Sambili sang together: “I want God to use me…”"

http://www.eastandard.net/InsidePage.php?id=1143997841&cid=499

What has your mind has you

My pastor Ken Werlein gave this quote today in regards to overcoming storms in your life:

“What has your mind has you.”

If you focus on what’s wrong in your life, you will experience the wrong. “One small stone and a sling of faith, that is all you need to make it.” (In regards to the story of King David in 1 Samuel 17)

Cohabiting couples’ splits test the courts

“As the number of adults who opt to purchase homes, have children and start businesses together without getting married rises, these types of “common-law kerfuffles,” as some courthouse observers call them, are testing the legal system’s ability to adapt to new ways people live.”

http://www.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20081025/NEWS03/810250365/1017/NEWS01

Woman suing over husband’s missing brain

NEW YORK, Oct. 25 (UPI) — A 71-year-old New York woman wants $4 million from those responsible for losing her late husband’s brain. Read more

Divorce can raise deed, loan issues on home

“Q: I am recently divorced. We had two houses. In the divorce, I got one and he got one. We both signed quitclaim deeds to each other. However, I needed to refinance mine to pay off the bills I accumulated just to get my house back into livable shape. (It was a rental while we were married.)”

Read the rest here.

Bruises and Baby Squirrels

This last weekend I was not feeling very well. I had managed to snag the newest flu bug, but couldn’t bear to sit inside while the few remaining bits of seasonal warmth faded under the approaching blanket of fall. I pulled a chair out on the deck, closed my eyes, and tilted my head towards the sun. Just then, a sharp noise pierced the air. I couldn’t see where the cry was coming from so I decided to get up and poke around. It didn’t take long to discover that a baby squirrel had fallen from a tree and lodged himself in between the two panels of my fence. Carefully, I pulled him out and laid him in an old shoe box.
On Monday morning I called the vet down the street and was promptly told to call the “squirrel lady”. Amazed that there was actually someone labeled “the squirrel lady” I chuckled to myself and dialed her number. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what to expect but, a bubbly, courteous and extremely professional woman answered the phone. She gathered some details about my little friend and asked if he had any brothers or sisters. “I don’t think so” I said, and explained that he had simply fallen from the tree.
“Sounds like an orphaned nest.” She said “There are probably a few more little guys up there. They are getting hungry and starting to wander from the nest. You should try to get a ladder up there to get the rest of them before they fall.”
I headed back outside to listen, and it wasn’t long before another cry echoed from high in the tree. I knocked on my neighbor’s door to ask about a ladder, but no one was home. Worried and bewildered, I went back to the tree and peered up. The cry grew more and more intense and time was passing quickly. I knew that if I did not do something fast, it would probably mean tragedy for the little guy. So, I decided to climb the tree myself! I changed clothes, pulled on some “alligator hunter” gloves and grabbed a bag to collect whoever I found.
Carefully I climbed up a chair, hoisted myself onto the fence, and precariously wedged myself into an arm of the tree. I slowly made my way up, hoping beyond hope that I would somehow be able to make it back down again! It soon became clear that I was not going to be able to reach the nest safely by myself. I stopped to plot the next course of action, when suddenly my eye caught a glimpse of a small, fuzzy, creature clinging helplessly to a limb just a few feet from me. He began to cry in panicked outbursts, no doubt, giving away any remaining energy. Gently, I pried him from the branch and began my decent.
Once I got down and set him inside the box with his brother I assessed the damage. My arms and legs were covered in scratches and bruises, and leaves and small sticks had lodged themselves in my hair. Then it dawned on me, I had risked life and limb, not to mention an extremely high deductible on my health insurance for the sake of a squirrel!
So, what made me do it? What made me cast aside work and safety to call, search, and climb? Really, I think anyone with a heart would have done the same, but this really got me thinking.
Why don’t we extend the same urgency and self sacrifice for the hurting, starving souls around us? Literally, there are orphaned, helpless and hungry people all over. They need hope and peace that only God he can offer. They hang dangerously over the edge of uncertainty and death, and try desperately to find a comfort that will last. They have wandered far from the source of safety and are in need of someone to place personal wellbeing, agenda, and safety aside to rescue them.
How risky are you? Would you have climbed the tree or would you have ignored the plea? How much more important is the life of a human being?
I urge you to listen intently to your surroundings. Is there someone who needs your attention? Is there someone who has wondered from safety and is trying desperately to keep from falling? Time is running out and souls are in danger. Today, do something risky for the sake of eternity!

Jennifer Lopez’s love ‘challenge’

Jennifer Lopez’s love ‘challenge’

Contest Offers Engaged Couples Who Abstain a $10,000 Wedding

The nonprofit Marriage Appreciation Training Uplifting Relationship Education is offering the Marriage of a Lifetime contest to couples who live in Rockdale, DeKalb and Newton counties, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports. But so far, there have been no entries, despite the looming Oct. 31 deadline.

“There is a romantic end of it, but we are also looking for a couple that is committed and who will work through struggles,” Phillippia Faust, the director of the abstinence education program, told the paper. “And we are looking for a couple that is choosing a lifestyle that is not compromising, and premarital sex is a compromiser.”

read more (fox news)

Couples With Children With ADHD At Risk Of Higher Divorce Rates, Shorter Marriages

ScienceDaily (Oct. 22, 2008) — Parents of a child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) are nearly twice as likely to divorce by the time the child is 8 years old than parents of children without ADHD, the first study to look at this issue in depth has shown.

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Marriage Tip for: 10/24/2008

Weekly Date Idea: Find a corn maze and wander through it. Ponder how your experience may mimic times in your life together when you felt lost, found each other, or found your way through a difficulty together.

Autumn Marriage Linking

Fall is finally in the air and I’ve been sitting in my office enjoying the falling leaves and doing a little surfing around for marriage related posts.  Here are some of the highlights:
My Mate iPhone/iPod Touch App: I’m addicted to downloading apps to my iPod Touch.  I haven’t downloaded this, but I’m happy to see [...]

Personal Psalm

My time at the AACC (American Association of Christian Counselors) conference in Dallas was rich.  I heard many fine talks, sat in some helpful workshops on sexuality, marriage and addictions and caught up with some old friends.  It was a time for sharpening my skills as a counselor as well as have my soul shaken and stirred.  In an all day workshop of experiential learning we each wrote a person psalm.  Here is my offering. 

There is a weary place in my soul, Papa.
It has a permanent address and receives posts all day long.
The letters pile up unopened, waiting, waiting
For your voice to reverberate this locale with meaning.

For you can know all the words on my heart.
Your words put meaning to my deep ache.
As you speak to this permanent home,
The sun rises, the dove soars, the cool breeze maracas the leaves.
And I dance in the delight in your eyes.  

Bruce Willis is getting married….again!

Why do people keep getting married and remarried, married and remarried again? It is a wonderful thing to be loved and to love, but let’s get real for a quick second.  If one relationship is unhealthy, guess what, the next one is going to be unhealthy as well if you do not fix what was broken the first time. Read more

Jack-o-lanterns - Think outside the pumpkin

Filed under: Fun & activities, Holidays

If you‘re carving a jack-o-lantern this year, this weekend is the perfect time to do it. With the cooler weather, your creation is sure to last until Halloween next Friday, with plenty of time for the kids to enjoy lighting it each night.

The great thing about carving a pumpkin is that it’s a family friendly activity that all ages can get in on. Even an older baby can sit and scoop out some goo, provided you give her some supervision. And a really cool, intricate design might encourage an otherwise busy teen to join in the fun. Plus, pumpkins are relatively inexpensive, so — if need be — everyone can have their own.

Continue reading for some tips on how to pick your pumpkin, plus some really great templates for inspiration.

Continue reading Jack-o-lanterns - Think outside the pumpkin

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Defining Moments: Boundaries and Dual Relationships

The book entitled Boundaries by John Townsend and Henry Cloud is a classic piece of work, which provides us an opportunity to peek into the crucible of our lives and assists us in evaluating whether we have set appropriate parameters for ourselves. Townsend and Cloud make several statements which need to be transformed from the written page to the bottom of our hearts. Statements such as, “A boundary is a personal line that marks those things for which I am responsible,� and “boundaries define who we are, and just as importantly, who we are not.�1 The authors mention four boundaries that help define who we are. These include our emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental relational areas. I will never forget a valuable learning experience from my graduate training at Eastern Michigan University.

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Marriage Tip for: 10/22/2008

Don’t use the "D" word (Divorce) when arguing. It can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more times you successfully resolve a disagreement, the more confidence you’ll have that disagreeing is not grounds for divorce.

Breast Cancer and Teens

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. However, unless they have a relative with breast cancer, most teen don’t give it much thought. It is extremely rare for a teen to get breast cancer, but that doesn’t mean she (or he) shouldn’t stay informed. According to the National Cancer Institute, 1 out of every 7 women will develop breast cancer in her lifetime. That’s a lot. And there are quite a few things women can start doing in their teens to reduce their risk. So teens need to start educating themselves now. They need to understand the risk factor and how they can help prevent breast cancer.

What are the risk factors for breast cancer?

• Being a woman. Men get breast cancer too, but it is 100 times more common in women.
• Aging. Your chances of breast cancer increase the older you are.
• A family history of breast cancer. If you have a close relative (such as your mother or sister) who has had breast cancer you are at high risk to also get breast cancer, especially if that relative was under the age of 50 when she got it.
• Drinking alcohol.
• Being overweight.
• Smoking.

What can teens start doing today to decrease their risk of breast cancer in the future?

1. Don’t drink alcohol (which teens shouldn’t be doing anyway). When they get older they should be responsible drinkers and limit the number of drinks they consume.
2. Eat a healthy balanced diet and maintain a healthy weight.
3. Exercise regularly. Research has shown that women who were physically active as teens and young adults (particularly between the ages of 12 and 22) were 23 percent less likely to develop pre-menopausal breast cancer than women who grew up sedentary.
4. Don’t smoke.
5. Be happy and have a positive outlook on life.
6. Have regular (annual) checkups with the gynecologist where your doctor will perform a breast exam.
7. Do monthly self breast exams. Don’t panic if your teen finds a lump. Remember breast cancer is extremely rare in teens. But do be sure to discuss any lumps with her doctor.

Keep your teen healthy!

Tags: National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, self breast exam, teen health

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What does it mean to follow Jesus? A family devotional.

I can not believe I’m doing this, but (because apparently I am going to do this) we are now recording our family devotionals, unedited and completely uncut! First, my hope is that you will use these as a stepping stone to having your own family devotionals.  Second, that you will experience all the raw, dysfunction of our own family and not feel so bad about your own (this was sarcasm for those of you who do not know me). Read more

Recognize Sabotage in Your Marriage

“We recently received an email from a wife who couldn’t understand why her husband was sabotaging her attempts to lose weight. He fussed considerably about the healthy meals she served, brought home tempting desserts, and complained when she would leave to go for a walk.” Read more

Spiritual and Biblical Insights about Sibling Rivalry

Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob. Genesis 25:28

* Since sibling rivalry is rivalry over the approval, praise, and attention of parents, when parents favor one child over the other, very bitter sibling rivalry can ensue.
* No example in the Bible shows this more clearly that with Esau and Jacob.

To read more

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Yes, It Is About Me

It’s time to make marriage about more than just my spouse

A Man’s Shelf Life

Slowing the biological clock–for men.

The Teenage Tango

Earlier the teen, my husband and I had an argument. It was over something really minor. $3 to be exact. Yep, just a measly $3. But it turned in to a rip roarin’ hour long discussion. A loud discussion.

The gist of the fight was over his learner’s permit. That permit has been the cause of several disagreements in the last week. Who knew one little piece of plastic could be so controversial?

Basically my husband took the teen to the DOT to replace his lost driving permit. It cost $3 to replace it. Since the teen didn’t have any money, my husband paid for it. All along we were expecting the teen to pay us back for it. However, all along the teen expected us to just pay for it because we are the parent and he is the son.

This is where the argument comes in.

My husband asked the teen to go mow the neighbor’s lawn (the neighbor also happens to be the teen’s uncle). He told him he needed to mow so he could get some money and pay us back the $3 for the permit. The teen flipped. “Pay you back? Why would I pay you back?” We tried to explain that we paid for the original permit. When he lost that one, the replacement became his responsibility. The teen said we never told him he’d have to pay us back.

“Why would I go mow the lawn just so I can give you the money I earn? Then I don’t have any money for myself. I might as well not mow.” As you know, we’ve had these conversations (or ones like them) many times before. A teen’s logic just astounds me. The concept that you would earn money so you can pay me back and then have your own money the next time is completely lost on teens.

He went on to say that if he knew he had to pay it back he may not have borrowed the money. Which is usually a fair argument, but not in this case. I said, “How would you have driven at driver’s ed last night with no permit? Didn’t you HAVE to have a permit?” To which he responded, “Well yeah, but for other things you make me pay you back and you don’t tell me in advance.”

And here lies the root of the problem. The argument wasn’t really about a $3 learner’s permit. It was about choices, responsibility and respect. He feels like we don’t respect him enough to give him the choice to borrow money, just give him money or let him go without. We just force our will on him at our whim. He feels that at time we treat him like a little kid who can’t make his own decision. And we feel like we are being nice by loaning him money and getting no respect or appreciation in return. Who’s right? We’re both right. Who’s wrong? We’re both wrong. At least on some levels. This raising teenagers business is quite the tango.

In the end we decided going forward we would make it very clear when we expect him to pay us back. Going forward we will make it a point to say, “I will loan you this $3, but you need to pay me back.” And then he can make the choice to either take the money and pay us back or decline the money. Then everybody will be on the same page and there will be no surprises.

Tags: loaning money, raising-teens, respect

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Psalms for the soul

There are psalms for every type of situation, emotion, and need. Here are eight categories of psalms and some beloved psalms that fit in those categories. These psalms form a “School of Prayer,” teaching us the basic types of prayer. You can pray these psalms or use them as guides to write your own similar psalm: Read more

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