Christian Bale learns valuable lesson about conflict resolution

Foxnews.com reports, “Sources close to the Batman actor, who was arrested on Tuesday on an assault claim, told the Mail that Bale ‘flew off the handle’ at London’s Dorchester hotel after Jenny Bale said ’some outrageous things.’ The Welsh-born actor, 34, was arrested and released on bail without being charged with assault, which he has denied.”

Near the end of this story Bale states that he wishes he’d just left the room. Now that’s the understatement of his life!

The best thing you can do when things get heated, whether your wife has just been verbally criticized or not, is simply take a time out. The following is a good example of how to take an effective time-out before an argument gets out of control:

The first thing you do is let your spouse know that you need a time-out. (You might say something like, “I need a break.” “I’m about to say something I don’t mean.” “I don’t feel like this is going to a good place.”)

Now you negotiate a time to come back together and LUV Talk. (“I think I can talk in about 2 hours, is this okay with you?” “Can we talk about this in an hour?”) The point is to negotiate a time that is agreeable to both of you.

Take the break and leave each other alone.(During the break, make sure you are thinking about y our part in the conflict. This is not a time to become more upset about your spouse. Try and think about how you could have handled the situation differently. For example things like your approach, tone of voice, nonverbals, defensiveness, or blaming.)

Before you come back together, ask yourself if you are ready to hear your spouse’s side of the conflict. If you are not, then reschedule another meeting time.

If you are ready to listen, then you can officially begin LUV Talk. (You will know you are ready when you are willing to listen and validate your spouse.)

Now you can LUV Talk.