How to Craft a Great Apology

“If I offended you, then I’m sorry.”

“Ok, maybe I could have handled the situation a little better, I’m sorry.”

“I probably should not have done that, I’m sorry.”

Those would be great apologies without the words if, maybe or probably.

Here are my thoughts for crafting great apologies:

1. Put some thought into it.  “There is more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking” Proverbs 29:20 (NLT). The other person will know the sincerity of your apology by the amount of thought you have given to it. Think it through.
 

2. Focus on feelings, not issues. “We know that we all possess knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up” 1 Corinthians 8:1. Resolution focuses on the issue, but reconciliation focuses on the relationship. Let the other person know that your relationship is more important than the disagreement.

 3. Become a wordsmith. Pick great, meaningful words. “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” Proverbs 16:24.  “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” Proverbs 12:18. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” Proverbs 15:1.
 

4. Remember, less is often more. Sometimes in our apologies we can bring up three new issues as we try to make amends over one. “Fire goes out for lack of fuel…”  Proverbs 26:20a (NLT).  “Don’t talk too much, for it fosters sin. Be sensible and turn off the flow” Proverbs 10:19 (NLT). “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue” Proverbs 17:27, 28. “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” Proverbs 10:19
I find myself saying “I’m sorry” more often than I do “I forgive you.” In fact, I don’t even have a list for saying “I forgive you.”

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