To spank or to do something else

What should your rules for dating be?

As a father of three beautiful children, I am not stressed about the day my kids get interested in dating (they are currently 11, 10, 6 and they all still don’t like the opposite sex).  The reason I am not stressed is because I believe dating is a wonderful way for my kids to develop in to loving and healthy adults. Read more

The family who is ONE

More than anything, Jesus wanted his disciples to be one - united.  He has this same dream for the rest of us as well.  The cool thing is…when we are one we reflect Jesus through our relationships so the world will know that we follow Him.

The greatest example a family can be for those around them is one.  When a family loves each other, serves each other, cares for each other’s needs the rest of the world will take notice.  

John 17:20-24 (NLT)

20 “I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message. 21 I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me.

 22 “I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one. 23 I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me. 24 Father, I want these whom you have given me to be with me where I am. Then they can see all the glory you gave me because you loved me even before the world began!

If you want to know how to be one as a family, look no further than Jesus’ 8 Beatitudes:

Matthew 5:3-10 (NLT)

3 “God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs. 4 God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted. 5 God blesses those who are humble,  for they will inherit the whole earth. 6 God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice,  for they will be satisfied.  7 God blesses those who are merciful,  for they will be shown mercy.  8 God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God. 9 God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God. 10 God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.

When you take on the kind of personality described in Matthew 5 it makes it easier for you to become one as a family.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. Why do we want to be one as a family?
2. What is a ‘beatitude’?
3. How can we apply this as a family to our neighbors?

When little girls fight

I was a hero tonight. Well, at least I was a hero in my own way. In fact, now that I think about it, no one else (other than myself) has actually referred to me as a hero tonight. So I might be the only one who actually views myself as a hero. But that is not important. What is important is the lesson I was able to teach 4 little girls tonight in my neighborhood.

The lesson was about validation. My daughter got her feelings hurt by one of the neighborhood girls. I happened to be outside when it occurred because we’ve been experiencing a power outage due to a major thunderstorm that rolled through a few hours ago. I only share that because I want to be honest, there’s no way I would have been outside tonight because the Spurs are playing the Lakers in game 4 of the Western conference finals.

God used the power outage to my advantage. As I overheard the girls arguing back and forth with each other, each one taking her own position, I waltzed out to the middle of the cul-de-sac and announced that I wanted to teach everyone a valuable lesson about validating. Of course, each girl (including my daughter) looked at me like I was straight out of a science fiction movie. But I seized the opportunity for a ‘teachable moment’ and plodded ahead.

I quickly shared how validation is:

the reciprocated communication of respect which communicates that the other’s opinions are acknowledged, respected, heard, and (regardless whether or not the listener actually agrees with the content), they are being treated with genuine respect as a legitimate expression of their feelings, rather than marginalized or dismissed. (thank you Wikipedia)

Wikipedia has honestly one of the best definitions I’ve ever read on validation. So I taught the girls what it looks like when you validate one another. I even pulled out an example, you could even call it a parable. It only took me about 1.5 minutes to share my thoughts, and I truly believe the world is a better place because of my actions tonight (hence the hero feelings mentioned earlier).