What is intimacy?

I’ve been contemplating for some time how to tackle this very delicate subject. It seems to be a topic most Christians shy away from and I never understood why. I’ve been a Christian for almost 20 years and have never heard a single teaching from a church on the subject. Although discussion does require some degree of decorum, we shouldn’t be so afraid of it. After all, God did create sex and He meant for a husband and wife to enjoy it. It wasn’t designed as a chore or something to be ashamed of. Just take a look at the Song of Solomon. Taken literally, this book is a wonderful picture of the desire a husband and wife can and should have for each other. Tommy Nelson, the pastor of Denton Bible Church in Texas, has an amazing teaching on this book (visit www.songofsolomon.com). It is available in both audio and video and I strongly recommend it. Basically, it is a teaching on God’s best for love, marriage, sex and romance. It’s one of the most descriptive teachings I’ve ever heard.

My own view on what makes for a truly exciting sex life is pretty simple. Great sex is a result of a great relationship. It’s not just about what happens in the physical, as important as that might seem. To me, it’s what leads up to that point that’s more important.

Men and women view sex a little differently, however, the basic foundation is the same. We both want to know we are desired, loved, respected and honored. We both need to know we are attractive to our spouse. We both want to know that we are the most important person on the planet to the one we love. The most exciting moments in the physical come from what we’ve poured into each other in other areas; spiritually, emotionally, mentally. My primary love language is quality time. When I’ve spent a great day with my husband talking, sharing, just really BEING together–knowing that there is no one else HE’D rather be with, it’s totally natural for me to want to be with him physically.

What happens once you get to the bedroom is between the two of you. But when you spend some time pouring into each other BEFORE you get there, the sexual experience will be unforgettable.

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